A Difficult Decision: I’m Letting Go of My Book

For the past five years, every time I’ve stepped onto a conference stage, joined a podcast, or shared a post about my work, there’s been one question that’s followed me:

“How’s the book coming?”

For a long time, I answered with optimism. Then, with hesitation. And more recently, with the sinking feeling of knowing the truth but not yet being ready to say it out loud.

So here it is: I am not going to finish writing Empathy-Driven Development.

That’s a hard sentence to type. For nearly five years, I poured myself into this book, believing deeply in the mission of making technical empathy tangible for software developers. I know how much this book meant to so many people. And I won’t lie—there’s a big part of me that feels like I’ve let you down.

This isn’t how I wanted this story to end.

Making This Decision Wasn’t Easy

The truth is, there’s no single reason why I came to this decision—just like there’s rarely a single reason for any big shift in life. There were many factors, some practical, some personal, and some that I don’t even fully understand myself yet.

What I do know is that I wrestled with this for a long time. I kept telling myself that if I could just push through, if I could just muster the energy, I could get it done. But what I’ve come to accept is that holding onto something for the sake of finishing it doesn’t always serve the mission.

I know some people may be disappointed. I know others might not understand. But I also know that forcing myself to deliver something that no longer aligns with where I am—and where I can make the biggest impact—wouldn’t serve anyone well.

Empathy-Driven Development Was Always About Communication

When I started this work, I thought I was writing about technical empathy. And I was. But as I step back, I can see the deeper pattern: everything I’ve been doing has been about internal communication.

The core of my work has always been about helping analytical minds navigate human relationships. Making sure developers’ voices are heard. Breaking down the myth that technical people don’t have social skills. Helping teams move from miscommunication to collaboration.

And that mission isn’t going anywhere.

I don’t have a clear roadmap yet. I’m in the murky middle of this transition, and I know I’m not alone—so many of us live here, holding onto past expectations while trying to make sense of what’s next.

What I do know is this: I still care deeply about advocating for the people who build the world’s technology. I still care about making human relationships more navigable for people who think analytically. I still care about ensuring that how we work together gets just as much attention as what we build.

The form may be changing. But the work continues.

From the bottom of my heart — thank you. To everyone who has supported this work, who has believed in this mission, and who continues to explore what empathy means in technical spaces, I’m so deeply grateful for everything.

Right now, I’m taking some space to process my grief, reflect on my experience, and strategize on what’s next. I don’t have a clear answer yet, but I know that this isn’t the end of my work in this space. 💟